Sleeping Beauty
by Aka Kaze
Summary: Houshin Engi Spoof, just having a bit of fun. A lot of stuff just implied. [Shounen Ai: Bou/Fu???]


1 Sleeping Beauty  
  
Someone has said --- who said it isn't important, really --- anyway, someone said, that there will always be fairytale-like stories existing in our world. They allow you to withdraw from our horridly dreary and exhausting daily lives and relax the muscles that are screaming their protests…  
  
smacked by a banana peel  
  
Well then, shall we start our mystical, heroic, and romantic tale of a lifetime?  
  
***  
  
Many many years ago, in a far away kingdom, a huge banquet was in preparation.  
  
Three days ago, the only heir to the throne, a little princess, was born amidst the prayers of all the citizens in the kingdom.  
  
This princess was a darling - her face as bright and sweet as an apple. When she was not sleeping, her cat-like golden eyes would stare at the world around her lazily and quietly. All in all, she was completely unlike other babies and kept to herself (?!). Unidentified pop-up: Special thanks to Roushi's sacrificing in the name of drama!  
  
King Taikoubou and Queen Fugen adore their daughter. In her name, they decided to throw a dinner party. During this occasion, they would invite the top members of the League of Fairies and ask them to grant the princess their favor and protection. Pop-up: Special thanks to Fugen for cross- dressing in the name of drama!  
  
The three Fairies (!?) invited that night include: Dakki, Sinkouhyo (aka. Sinko), and Yuukyou. Of course, they were all elite of the Fairy world.  
  
"Ho ho ho….(H)" A chain of bell-like laughter flowed out from Dakki's mouth. "Such a precious pumpkin! I'll give you beauty and good-heartedness as a birthday present! (H)"  
  
As she spoke, a stream of pinkish light radiated off her hands and melted onto the face of the sleeping princess.  
  
Yuukyou's serious yet gentle eyes rolled over princess Roushi's smiling sleeping face. Seems pretty content huh? She thought. "My present will be intelligence."  
  
"Yuu-chan! Girls are not as lovable if they are too smart. (H) Why don't you…."  
  
Just as Yuukyou was about to reply, Sinko inserted an impatient hand between the two bickering fairies.  
  
"I suppose it's my turn now?" Repressing his anger and muttering some curses under his breathe, he started near the baby.  
  
"I…," he said, then stopped and looked skyward. Nothing happened.  
  
"I…." He repeated. Still, nothing happened.  
  
Clearing his throat, he gave a loud growl, "I!!!" He raised his Raikouben.  
  
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" With fear written all over his face, the figure of Taiitsu suspended in mid-air with wires finally appeared overhead. His eyes were tightly closed.  
  
"I… I…." Feeling his life severely threatened by the Raikouben poised in front of his face, Taiitsu repressed the urge to scream for help. Damn it, why do I always get stuck with the hard tasks? Taiitsu lamented in his head. It's like getting caught between a rock and a hard place, I get torn up either way. It's just not fair!  
  
"You impudent King and Queen! How could you not invite the most magnificent member of the Fairy League, that is, myself, to this banquet of yours?" Swallowing hard, he continued. "For this insolence, I curse your daughter to meet death at the age of sixteen when she eats an ice cream cone by accident!" After forcing himself to finish speaking, he hurriedly pulled on the wire he was hanging off of. Slowly, his figure retreated into the shadows… followed by the King's angry outcry and the Queen's desperate wail. "My dearest daughter!" The Queen fell limply into the King's arms, eyes brimming with tears. As if stupefied by the sudden tragic events, the King did nothing but hold carefully onto the Queen's lightly heaving shoulders, the corner of his mouth with a suspicion of a slight upward twitch.  
  
Rolling his eyes, Sinko signed a little too emphatically and voiced his opinion on the situation. "Taiitsu uses black magic and there's not much we can do to help the princess. I can only alter his spell slightly so that the princess would not die if she eats an ice cream by accident but only fall into a deep slumber from which she will awaken years after with the kiss of her destined one." As he recited his speech, his hand drew imaginary circles over the princess' head. Not wasting even a second, he disappeared as soon as he finished speaking.  
  
Dakki and Yuukyou looked at each other with a sigh. Well, it was a miracle that he even showed up. They weren't expecting him to be overly cooperative.  
  
Well, dearest audience. Isn't this a sad end to the first stage of our story? Well, don't worry, we will be back immediately following these commercials. I *know* you can't wait to experience my exquisite storytelling skills again!  
  
***  
  
Let's continue where we left off! Did everyone miss me? Well, you don't need to say it, of *course* you did!  
  
Whisper A: "Mr. Sinkohyou's mood seems to be a tad bid on edge. ^^b"  
  
Whisper B: "What else is new. Hey, how did we suddenly turn from King and Queen to stagehands?!"  
  
"Don't get mad, the budget is very tight. You'll get wrinkles that way. Here, have some peach flavored cake. Open your mouth… aaa~~~. ^^"  
  
[Thought: YES!] Opens mouth wide: "AAAAAAA~~~"  
  
Ho ho ho… the time was sixteen years later. Hoping to protect their daughter, the King and the Queen ordered that the production and selling of ice creams be illegal in the land. In these years, ice cream had become practically extinct.  
  
The princess had also grown up. More often than not, she would be found playing in a crowd of sheep. (Actually, the sheep were just pushing her with their heads, keeping her from falling asleep again) She was the heart of the country. For her, all the people would risk their lives and even pour their heart out. Umm… this phrase was a bit too untidy, can I change it? It will certainly become one of the most glorious sentences to ever exist!  
  
"NO!"  
  
Ah, people these days do not have appreciation for good poetry and talented poets.  
  
The three good fairies also came to visit the palace often. Besides taking turns playing with the princess, they also checked to make sure there was no ice cream in the land.  
  
Nothing had happened these years. Finally, it was the princess' seventeenth birthday. Everyone's mood tensed up with the passage of time.  
  
There are three hours left to the princess' sixteen year. Presently there were only the three good fairies left in the sitting room in the palace. Everyone was preparing for the princess' birthday party.  
  
"Did we forget an important section? ^^b"  
  
"I'm not sure… let me check Disney's script."  
  
"I think I heard something." Picking up his Raikouben, which he didn't use very often, Sinko rushed out the door.  
  
No one's here? Filled with confusion, Sinko turned around. Walking towards him was the yawning Princess Roushi.  
  
"Good evening, Princess." Sinko bowed politely.  
  
"wow wor wiew." Princess Roushi replied in an incomprehensible language. I really want to sleep, Roushi thought. His eyes then landed on Sinko's hands, and the Raikouben. His eyes brightened as a slightly devious smile crept onto his face.  
  
"Hey, what's that?" Sinko stood dumbfounded, a bit confused that these lines weren't in the script. Pointing to Raikouben, Roushi asked, "can I eat it?" Without waiting for an answer, Roushi took a huge bite at the poor Raikouben…  
  
"NOOOOOOO!!!!"  
  
Following the horrified howl of everyone, a huge light burst from Raikouben overtook the entire universe as everything brightened and then darkened. Oh, I cannot bear to look anymore.  
  
***  
  
After everything had calmed down, the first thing that came into view was Roushi's unconscious form lying on the ground and Sinko staring at him with mouth hanging open.  
  
"CUT!"  
  
"Now what!?" Worried tone.  
  
"There's nothing we can do. Well, since the princess fell 'asleep' as originally planed, let's just keep it this way."  
  
"Wait, then how is she suppose to wake up!? In this script there's this prince person too."  
  
"Oh, I knew I forgot something!" Tone of sudden realization.  
  
A cold wind blows pass everyone--- the neglectful director is crucified.  
  
"Now what should we do? The orphans that Gyokutei brought with him are still waiting outside to see the ending. " Though with slight panic, the voice is still gentle as an angel's.  
  
"Don't worry about it." His companion takes the chance to pat his shoulders comfortingly. "Since Sinkouhyo caused the mess, he's going to have to clean it up."  
  
"But…." Huge purple eyes fills with tears.  
  
"Leave it to me. By the way, is there more peach cake?"  
  
"Um hum! Here, open~~~."  
  
Silent yet suggestive staring session. Far away there is the sound of someone crashing painfully to the ground, followed by the screams of that person's huge fan club.  
  
"Boo hooo hooo. I only accepted the role of the antagonist because I wanted more air time. Now look, I only had one scene and it was taken at far angles! Poor me….." Taiitsu wails.  
  
***  
  
The heartbroken King and Queen asked the three fairies to surround the castle with magic so that the princess would be safe while she awaits the one who would free her from the curse. Ahh, the passage of time makes one realize how inconsequential human life…  
  
"AH_HEM!"  
  
Damn it, why should I be responsible for waking Roushi? Sinko grumbled.  
  
Sinko, who had been "volunteered" by the rest of the crew to wake Roushi closed in onto the dreaming figure with a threatening air. Despite wanting to burn everything to the ground, looking at the many eagerly awaiting young faces… he has no choice. Ho ho ho… it seems that Mr. Sinkouhyo, who had always stressed his position as a non-involved and non-concerned spectator also has a chivalrous spirit like my own. Not wanting to let down…  
  
A huge ring of thunder.  
  
"This narrator has just been struck with Raikouben at 100% power! Take him to the hospital immediately!  
  
There is chaos backstage for a good while before they push the replacement onto stage.  
  
"Ho ho ho… darlings, this calls for OT fees! (H)"  
  
Three hundred years later, the adorable Prince Sinko managed to pass all the barricades and arrive at the bed of the princess.  
  
"Yo, wake up."  
  
"NO! That's not the way to wake her up! The prince has to kiss the princess!" Unaware of the danger involved, the kids call out to Sinko. "Shh, settle down kids." Gyokutei's face is a little bit stiff. Sinkouhyo looks… a bit scary…..  
  
"Kiss?" A dangerous smile passed Sinko's lips. Princess Roushi seemed to have shuddered in her dreams.  
  
"Well then," Sinko continuec, "let my beloved Raikouben help 'kiss' away her spell." Waving Raikouben over Roushi, he said in a low tone, "look, I know what you're pulling. When you bit Raikouben it was controlled only to 2% of its normal power. There was no way it could harm you at that level. But right now… it's fixed to 100%, would you like to try it out?" As he said that, he raised Raikouben over his head.  
  
"I'm awake!" Roushi's figure bounced up from the bed and disappears backstage.  
  
"Happy ending!"  
  
Taking advantage of the period of shock that is currently passing through the childern, Houshin theater group hurriedly comes onto stage to thank the audience, then at a spectacular speed, packs up all the props (included wounded workers) and disappears into the far distance, leaving a trail of unsettled smoke.  
  
A few moments later… the children finally recovers and starts after them.  
  
"No way! The prince has to kiss the princess!  
  
The two hiding in the tall bushes look leisurely at the disappearing crowds.  
  
"It seems no one noticed that we were missing. ^^"  
  
"Good. I want more cake… and… that…. " His face flushes as his finger points toward…  
  
"All right. ^^"  
  
Ho ho ho… the two darlings seem to have forgotten my existence. Hey, my sweet little children, there's a prince kissing a princess over here!  
  
"Where!?"  
  
"RUN!"  
  
  
  
A's babblin:  
  
Well… what can I say… _ WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…. I can't help it! =)  
  
I personally love spoofs. Hehe… and of course, this is a sequel to "The Little Angel," part of the "Fairy Tale Series." ^^….  
  
Actually, the Chinese version of this story is the 1 years anniversary present I wrote for Deep Blue… and just decided to use it for my own one year present for everyone. ::nuclear fusion'ed:: I know I know… I'm really lazy. (gosh, and I'm doing this translation on Lunar New Year's Day _)  
  
Anyway, regarding characters… I honestly DID NOT think about Sinko/Roushi. It just turned out this way. Hey, can you think of a better person for "sleeping Beauty" over Roushi? ^^ No right?  
  
Well, I hope everyone like this story… and please… we're REALLY appreciate it if you would contribute too! =) 


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